Monday, January 11, 2010

A Tale of Fear--College Life Begins Again!!

As we embark upon the new year, my newest writing venture begins--college! Today I return to school for my undergrad degree. Since it has been--ahem--19 years since I last sat in a college classroom, I am a little nervous. But I'm excited, too. I'm starting with two classes, a "ways of reading" class and a creative writing class. The more I learn, the more I realize I have to learn, so I'm looking forward to any lit or writing class.

But what I am most nervous about today--everything. I will probably be in a classroom of people 20 years younger than me. I am afraid I will feel horribly out of place. Here's an example of what I mean. My 14-year-old son went with me to the college bookstore to purchase my textbooks. At the counter, the clerk asked my son for his student ID. I could hardly keep the laughter down while he finished ringing me up, poor guy. Okay, so being too old, that's one worry. Also, what if I get in a creative writing class and suddenly feel like I can't write and don't know what I'm doing? Even though I have been writing literally since I can remember, I have that fear. Let's just add these other fears while we're at it--I won't be able to find a parking spot, I'll be dashing across campus in the cold, unable to find the right classroom, bumbling into class to take the last unoccupied seat--right in front of the professor, of course! AAAHHH! Time for deep breaths...

Truly, though all of those fears are embarrassingly real, I can hardly wait for it all to begin! I have no doubt I will come out of it all as a better writer and a more open and knowledgeable person.